Releasing Patterns of Self-Sabotage – Part 2

Several years ago, I was enrolled in a yoga teacher training.  It was not my first teacher training and I still had no desire to teach yoga.  I have taken yoga and enrolled in teacher trainings because it was proving to be a useful tool for me to manage stress.  I kept growing my practice because my mind continued to calm.  My reactions and responses to life were changing.  I was experiencing less fear.  

During the final week of this particular teacher training, I began to experience feelings of self-doubt and fear.  

I began to wonder why I had wasted all of this time and money on the teacher training.  

I told myself, “ Nothing magical is going to happen after this.”

“Why did I even do this in the first place?”

“Nothing is going to come of this.”

This was a Wednesday and I was going to take the exam on the upcoming Sunday.  I was ready to quit.  I was truly considering not showing up anymore.  I just thought the whole thing was useless.  

Suddenly, I had an awareness of this situation.  

“Oh, this is self-sabotage.”

“This is what is meant by - Getting in our own Way.”

I began observing the things I was saying to myself

“Nothing magical is going to happen.”

Notice there is a period after that statement, not a question mark.  I was certain of a particular outcome.  I am not in control of the results.  All I can do is continue to show up to my life and see what happens.

What if I allow the experience of Accomplishment?  What if I complete this just to have the experience of Accomplishment?  

“Why did I ever do this yoga teacher training in the first place?

Sometimes I forget why I started something.  I forget my original purpose.  I go after a goal, but I lose sight of the original intent. Sometimes I need to check in with myself to contemplate and remember why I do the things I do.  

 

Do I take time to honor my accomplishments, achievements and successes?

Can I look at this experience and just feel what it feels like to accomplish?  

Can I take a moment and really honor myself for completing a task or a goal?

Can I allow myself to feel good for doing something different?

Can I appreciate myself for stepping outside of my comfort zone?

I can get so swept away by life and the lives of others that it can take me off my Path.  For me, Meditation and Yoga consistently bring me back to the present moment to help me remember my Goals, my Dreams and my Purpose.  From this place of Being Centered, I can take the next indicated action for Me?

Just for today, can I reflect on one achievement I have experienced in my life?

Just for today, can I reflect, with gratitude, on the work I did?

Just for today, can I reflect on my goals that I have yet to receive?

Just for today, can I take one small step toward these goals?

Just for today, can I be proud of myself for all I have achieved thus far?

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